Not-so dumb blonde comedy stooge forces two old-timers to change their views.
SPOILER: Jim has astrange conversation with General Philip Warpinton. Transcript of an
old TV show where blonde comedy stooge Aimi demonstrates her new catch phrase to two old-timers, Eddy and Benny. They assault her in her dressing room where Aimi fights back with Judo, Chorus-line Karate and her frightening grapevine press using her strong dancer’s legs. The Evil One is briefed about a covert American operation.
This wacky idea came to me and I had to write it. Based upon Aimi Mcdonald and those 60’s black & white light entertainment shows
The following story contains descriptions of sex and violence. If this offends you or if you are under the legal age of consent in your country do not read on. Any likeness to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental.
(c) JIM P 2010
“Do you believe in angels Jim?”. I was sitting in the garden of a public house soaking up the Sun with General Philip Warpinton. I knew the Wiltshire ale was strong but I also knew that the man could usually hold his drink. “Do you mean the kind with halos and wings? Not anatomically possible” I replied, not sure where this conversation was going. I knew the General was a bit down because his investigation into D’s assignation [JIMP#14] had been squashed. “I’ve seen many strange things in my career Jim. Done things I’ve regretted. Sometimes we meddle in things that we should leave well alone, because once Pandora’s box is open the things inside can never be put back”.
He must have noticed my expression because with a deep sigh he said, “Well that’s enough about my problems. How are things in the exciting life of a private eye?”. I explained that things were far from exciting. That I had been spending day after day in a frustrating search through Bristlingdown’s library & numerous bookshelves for some ancient code table that might not even exist [JIMP#17]. I had already gone through Lord Gerald’s personal effects with Sir Humphrey and trawled through old family photographs hoping for a picture of the man holding or wearing some sort of ancient device but had found nothing. I was beginning to think that whatever it was had been lost or stolen years ago without the family knowing.
Feeling a bit heady from the local brew, I decided I had better not drive home but check into a local motel for the night. It had been a long drive down but I appreciated the break. Settling into my room, I switched on the TV and flicked through the four terrestrial channels (there was no cable or satellite). It wasn’t much of a choice: – a gloomy soap opera about life up North; a depressing soap opera about East End London; a inane reality TV show and some boring re-run of an ancient 1960’s light entertainment show.
Wondering why I paid so much TV tax for the state-run channels, I decided to leave it on the re-run as background noise. After enduring about 5 minutes of pure drivel masquerading as ‘comedy’, I was about to switch off and go down to a local store to find a book to read when Aimi comes on. I’d forgotten that she used to be on this. I used to think she was quite hot when I watched the re-runs when I was younger. She was so central to the show; I always wondered why they hadn’t named the show after her.
******* Transcript of sketch 113 – full dress rehearsal ******
Eddy and Benny stand on a bare stage apart from an old fashioned stove with a coal bucket. Both are conservatively dressed in black suits, fully buttoned white shirts with plain black ties and highly polished black shoes. Their hair is cut in a ‘short back and sides’. They are dressed perfectly for the Black & White broadcast. Both men are in their late 50’s and cast from the old music hall tradition from which the National station drew its entertainers. Eddy is 6’4″, rake-thin with gaunt features. His hair is thinning and predominately grey. He plays the smart straight man. By contrast Benny is 5’2″, tubby with a round chubby face and brown hair. He plays the ‘cheerful chappy’, the not so bright but likable funny guy.
Aimi walks onto the stage and stops between the two men <canned applause>. She is wearing a very short sleeveless metallic silver mini-dress with matching high-heeled knee boots that boost her height from her natural 5’7″. The dress has a wide deep plunge in the front showing off a nice chest and some cleavage aided by a push-up bra. Above the boots, her dancer’s legs are bare and shapely. Aimi is 25 with golden hair worn in a shoulder length bob with a low fringe above her green eyes and curling around her long heart shaped face, covering her ears. She has a broad cute nose with small nostrils, a wide mouth with thin lips in an impish smile that pushes up her quite prominent cheeks. Her chin is quite long and pointed. Aimi’s role is pure eye-candy playing the dumb blonde bimbo comedy stooge. Apart from her looks, her most notable asset is her excitable high-pitched squeaky voice. She is carrying a plate of crumpets.
Aimi (shivering): “It’s cold in here boys”
Benny: “I wouldn’t say that”. He exaggerates running his eyes up and down her body <canned laughter>
Eddy: “The fire’s gone out. Could you see to it love?”
Aimi (high pitched): “OK!”
Aimi walks to the stove, then realises she has something in her hands.
Aimi (looking confused):”Oh!”
Eddy: “What is it loved?”
Aimi: (brightening as if she has just remembered something): “I’ve brought you something”
Benny: “Later darling, later” <canned laughter>
Ted pretends to slap Benny who does a comedy tumble.
Ted: “What have you got for us Aimi?”
Aimi: “I’ve got a pair of lovely crumpets”
Benny: “You’ve got that right Darling” <canned laughter>
Ted takes the plate
Aimi bends at the waist putting some coal from a bucket inside the stove.
Benny rubs his hands over her backside as if to warm them <canned laughter>
Eddy pretends to slap Benny then gives him a crumpet. They both eat watching Aimi as she wriggles her backside humming to herself while pretending to light the stove.
Aimi closes the stove door and stands.
Ted hands her the empty plate, which she puts on top of the stove
Ted: “Very nice dear”
Benny: “You can say that again” <canned laughter>
Ted: “You know, that could be your catchphrase”
Aimi (looking blank): “What’s that?”
Ted: “Some words that you say every now and then which people will associate with you”
Aimi looks blank
Ted: “Each time you come on, you’ll say ‘I’ve got a lovely pair of crumpets’ go on try it”
Aimi: “I’ve got a pair of lovely crumpets” <canned laughter>
Aimi looks pleased with herself
Ted: “No, it needs more OOMPH”
Ted: “Yes. You know OOMPH, it needs something else. Something visual that people will remember goes with the words”
Benny tries to stand on tiptoes to Aimi but can’t reach <canned laughter>
Benny signals to Aimi beckoning with his finger. Aimi crouches down. Benny pretends to whisper in her ear.
Benny: “Go on, try it”
Aimi (shaking her chest widely from side to side): “I’ve got a pair of lovely crumpets” <canned laughter>
Ted: “No, No. It’s before the watershed. Little boys out there will be put right off their tea.” <canned laughter>
Ted: “She needs something else”
All (stand as if in thought)
Aimi (bright and cheerful): “I know!”
Benny: “Don’t overdo it love. You know thinking makes your brain hurt” <canned laughter>
Aimi (brightly): “Judo!’
She is standing next to Benny and grabs his wrist, raises it high in the air, forcing him on tip toes then swings it down in an arc, flipping Benny head over heels to the floorboards.
Benny: “Ow!” <canned laughter>
Eddy (astonished): “What was that?”
Aimi (chirpily): ‘Judo!’
She grabs Eddy’s wrist and throws him the same way, cart wheeling him through the air.
Eddy: “Ow!” <canned laughter>
Benny: (getting to his feet, looking angry) “Stop that”
Aimi (blankly): “Stop what?”
Benny: “You know. That, that”
Aimi (realisation dawning): “Judo!”
She flips Benny again in the same fashion.
Benny: “Whoa -ow” <canned laughter>
Benny & Eddy (getting to their feet, looking annoyed. They stand on either side of Aimi).
Eddy: “What are you doing? You can’t do that you’re just a girl”
Aimi (looks flustered and confused)
Ted: “Don’t you know anything?”
Aimi (brightening): ‘Oh yes, Judo!”
She grabs a wrist in each hand, raises both arms then circles them down cart wheeling Benny & Eddy to the stage floor. <canned laughter>
Director: ‘and cut’
Benny (storming off with Eddy towards the Producer): “We’d like a word with you and that stupid script writer of yours”
There is a knock on the dressing room door, but before Aimi has a chance to open it, it bursts open. Benny comes storming in red-faced; Eddy close behind. “Sorry about..” Eddy begins to apologise but Benny cuts him off. “Don’t apologise to the bitch. We employ her. She answers to us”. Aimi is wearing a very short black silk kimono styled dressing gown with a golden dragon motif on the back, her legs and feet bare on the carpeted floor. Whilst that would have made most heterosexual men stop and stare, Benny had other things on his mind. Despite his public persona, most people in the business knew that Benny suffers from ‘short man’ syndrome. Overcompensating for his lack of height with increased aggressiveness and a bad temper. Likewise Eddy was known as a bullying thug. Together the two men had intimidated any opposition to their long and lucrative career at the taxpayer’s expense.
Red-faced with anger Benny strides up Aimi and then punches her hard in the gut. “Poarpph”. “You stupid blonde bimbo! In future you just stick to showing your tits and arse” He yelled. Aimi’s face was red and pained with her eyes screwed up teary while clasping her stomach. Eddy spoke “The script-writer, ex-script writer I should say, told us that you suggested that Judo nonsense”. Benny grabs Aimi’s hands from her stomach, pulls her arms apart then wallops her again in the gut. “Arhpppffh”. “You hurt my back you silly dumb cow!” he yells as she bends double in pain. “Stupid f’ing catchphrase” he rants “In future you will say ‘I’ve got a lovely pair of crumpets’ and like it”. He grabs the blonde by the hair and lifts her face up. She is badly winded and can only watch helplessly as Benny raises his fist. Eddy places his palm in front of Benny’s fist. “Not in the face, Benny. We need her to look pretty in the final takes”. Benny snarls with frustration at not being able to beat his victim black and blue.
Eddy looms over the hunched up blonde, red-faced with tears rolling down her cheeks. “The stunt person taught you well, who was it?”. “They’re finished” Benny snaps. “Not stunt” Aimi gasps. “Don’t make me laugh dear, girls can’t fight. It’s a trick” Eddy sneers. “Honor Blackman…does judo…Avengers … and Goldfinger” she gasps trying to steady her breath. “Bolleaux*! That’s just a stuntman. A man in a wig” Benny laughs. <* Rhymes with gateaux (old joke)>. “She’s a brown belt..read it somewhere” the blonde rasps. “You’re a dumb blonde belt!” Benny retorts.
“OK love. I tell you what I’ll do because I’m such a reasonable man. I’m giving you one last chance because you’ve got a pretty face” Eddy says. “Nice tits and arse too. Oh and great legs” injects Benny. “But you’ve got to do something for us to show your gratitude” Eddy tells her, a wry smile on his face. “Now get your breath back and tell us your catchphrase” he adds. “You better get it right this time you silly broad” Benny adds nastily.
Aimi recovers her breath then stands facing Eddy, Benny to her side. “OK, ready” she says smiling. “Judo!” she squeaks. Eddy is caught by surprise as he feels Aimi’s hands on his arms as she moves close as if to brush past. He feels her calve sweep his legs from under him then he feels himself riding her hips as she leverages him over to land on the other side of her body.
“You dumb bitch!” Benny shrieks as he sees his partner land on his back at the bare feet of the impish blonde. The small man lunges towards Aimi punching his fist towards her face. “Judo!” she squeals, grabbing his wrist as she turns her back on the short man raising his arm. Benny is shocked to discover himself forced to his toes as the blonde pulls his arm over her shoulder. He feels her shapely backside press against his groin as she bends at the waist. There is a moment of helplessness as he tumbles over her torso. His back hits the floor with a jarring impact, and the pain of an overstretched arm that is still held captive by his wrist. He is shocked further when Aimi drops to his side draping her legs across his neck and chest with his arm in-between. “Arggh” he cries as she pulls back on his arm whilst pressing down on his neck with her legs. “What’s wrong Benny, don’t you like Judo?” she squeaks. “Please, you’re breaking my arm”. “But you said it was just a trick”. “Argh please stop please”. He really had thought it was a trick but he was in no doubt that she could break his arm with this hold.
Eddy has got to his feet and is shocked to see his partner overpowered by a mere woman. “I don’t know how you’re doing that, but let him go” he tells her. “OK” she squeaks and gets to her feet to face Eddy. “Enough of this nonsense. You’re just a dumb blonde understand?” he tells her while pointing her in the chest (which wobbled wonderfully under his fingers). “I understand this – Judo!”. Eddy feels Aimi grip his wrist and turn quickly. He feels the top of his chest collide with the blonde’s shoulder as she pulls him forward. Eddy feels himself trip over her bare ankles and then he is spinning briefly in the air before his back hits the floor.
Benny watches in disbelief as the pretty young woman flips his tall partner. Aimi turns round to face him looking innocent with an impish smile on her face “Do you want more Judo Benny?”. “No. No more Judo” he says quickly. He reddens realising that he’s nervous of a stupid bimbo who has learnt a few tricks.
“You know I used to go to Ballet school and then was in the chorus line at the London Palladium” she tells him. “So what?” he says, “You’ve hurt my back. You’re fired bitch!” Eddy says getting to his feet stooping with one hand on his back. “Chorus Line Karate!” Aimi squeals. Imagining herself back in the chorus line, Aimi placed her hands on her hips and swiftly raised her knee waist high and kicked her foot forward. “Aghhnnnn” Unfortunately for Benny his groin was in the way. A chorus girl like Aimi would seamlessly raise herself on her left toe and swiftly raise her right thigh as high as her chest with her calve pointing down. Usually there is not a short man clutching his balls in the way with his head lower than her chest. Benny received the full impact of her knee as it slammed hard against his chin snapping his head back viciously in a daze of motion and spots of lights. A chorus line girl would follow the high knee move by lowering the leg then immediately repeating the move straightening the calve in a mighty eye-high kick with the top of her thigh bouncing against her chest and her foot high above her head. A tall man standing in the way wouldn’t have a chance. Benny was a short man and had just staggered back a step in a daze from the high knee before he felt the heel of Aimi’s bare foot hammer into his chin. Everything went black.
Eddy watched in horror as Benny’s feet left the ground and his body flew into a wooden clothes rack behind then slithered senselessly to the floor. He was so shocked that he didn’t move as Aimi walked up to him. “Karate!”. Eddy saw a blur of movement as the blonde’s hand came down open-palmed hard onto the side of his neck. He felt a burst of pain explode in his neck then felt his legs give out beneath him. “I saw Diana Rigg do that on The Avengers. I suppose you think that was a stunt man too?” he heard her voice as if coming from a distance whilst his head spun in dark swirling blobs.
Dazed, Eddy found Aimi throwing herself on top of him. Her weight pushed him on his back. Shaking the fug that surrounded his brain, he found himself wrestling with a wildcat as the blonde struggled against him. “You’re not strong enough love” he chuckled at her frantic efforts to force his hands to the floor. Grabbing her hands, he began to sit up laughing at her futile attempt.
“Ahh” his laughter was cut short as the blonde managed to wrap her shins around his calves and spread his legs in a single irresistible movement. “Jeese” he cried as he felt her strong dancer’s legs pull his skinny limbs wide apart. She was belly to belly with him, her weight pressing his back to the carpet. “Agh” To his horror, Eddy found that he could not resist Aimi’s legs pulling his legs apart like a wishbone. He couldn’t use his legs to bridge or kick out at the bitch. The realisation hit him that a blonde bimbo had rendered him completely helpless. “Ahh please” The pain in his inner thighs near his crotch was unbearable as legs not used to such displays of flexibility complained and groin ligaments stretched to tearing point. “Dancers have such strong legs” Aimi informed him matter-of-factly in that high-pitched voice of hers with no sign of exertion. “A Tiller girl taught me this, they really know how to handle the unwelcome attentions of a man”. Pressing against his hands, she raised her torso over his chest until her arms became straight. Eddy felt weak and puny as the blonde pinned his arms to the carpet by her upper body weight focussed through her arms, whilst effortlessly trying to rip his legs out of their sockets. “Arghh please no please” he begs. It felt like she was splitting him in two, lancing pain shooting between his legs. “Please your legs are too strong. Please stop” he cried. The pain was excruciating and still her legs were splaying his wider.
Benny’s senses came back to him in a flood. He felt the splintered wood of the furniture digging into his back and the numbness in his right arm where he had been laying on it. His chin felt like it had been dislocated. Raising his hands in alarm he gingerly felt his jaw. Ow that hurts but he can just about move it. It’s not broken but it’s sore as hell. It takes a while before he remembers where he is. That blonde bimbo! Boy is she going to get it!. It is then that he notices the pitiful cries coming from the centre of the room. “Please please, yes yes I agree please” it reminds him of the terrified young boys he used to bully when he was younger, crying and pleading for a mercy that never came. He is therefore shocked that the voice comes from Eddy who is flat on his back spread-eagled with the bimbo on top.
As he stares in astonishment at the sight before him, he is puzzled by how extraordinary more shapely Aimi’s legs have become. He always knew they were toned and shapely but now her hamstrings seem to stand out as large gently sloped hills on the backs of her legs. There are also unnatural bulges and cords in the sides of her thighs hinting of power as she poured on the grapevine making Eddy squeal some more. If Benny didn’t know any better he would say that they were muscles, and strong ones at that, but women don’t have muscles. He knew she had toned dancer’s leg but they weren’t real muscles like a man’s.
The impression that came to his mind was that her legs are like those of a mighty stallion as they bulged and flexed threatening to rip Eddies’ legs from their sockets. “Arggh please stop”. The lumps in Aimi’s thighs and hamstrings really did look like muscle and shone with a healthy tone and power. The vision is somehow alluring, dangerous yet sexy and Benny is shocked to find himself sporting an erection.
“Please please no more please. I agree to all your demands. Please it really hurts please stop” Benny is shocked to see the big man in tears, crying like a wimp. Eddy’s words snap Benny out of his gaze. “What demands? We’re not agreeing to anything” Benny thunders, forcing himself to his feet. “I’m going to put in her proper place – on her back with my dick inside her”
As he approaches her, Aimi tries to extricate herself from the pin but she’s not quick enough. Benny is upon her back as she tries to rise with an arm around her neck. Bending her head back, he punches her in the middle of her back. “Oww”.
“I’ll teach you to kick me, you silly cow”. Holding on like a terrier, the short man manages to drag the taller blonde off Eddy. “Ow! Let go” she screams kicking and bucking her body. “Shut your noise” he shouts. Dropping her to the floor, he bends over and drives his fist into her gut. “Orrpph”. Aimi curls up on the carpet around her winded stomach. “I’m going to shut you up for good darling”.
“Aren’t you going to help me?” Benny asks Eddy who is sitting on the floor, his face a mask of anguish as he massages the inside of his thighs. “Can’t ..think she’s torn something” he pants, tears still in his eyes. Disgusted, Benny looks around and spots some of Aimi’s underwear on a clothes rack. “This will do nicely” he says as he takes a bra. Seeing him approach, the stricken woman, who is trying to regain her breath, struggles to get to her feet and back away. Before she has regained her footing, Benny steps forward and shoves her hard in the chest causing her to stumble backwards against the wide dressing table. “Get your arse on that table” he orders, punching her in her side eliciting a cry of protest. As Aimi raises herself to sit on the table, Benny pushes her backwards. Moving to stand between her legs, he has to stand on his toes to lean over the woman to grab her by the throat. Raising himself to lean forward, he raises his other fist with the bra dangling in front of her face. “Put your hands together like you’re praying to me” he demands. Aimi does as she’s told, bringing her palms together above her chest.
“Good girl” Benny starts to wrap the bra around her wrists. “Those knickers come off next” he sneers.
Suddenly Benny’s feet leave the ground and he finds himself tilting forward. He feels Aimi lock her shins around his calves and lift his legs high into the air whilst pulling them apart. Pressing his hands against the tabletop for support, Benny feels his legs forced into a V shape high behind him. “Arghh” it felt as if he was on the rack as his short legs were stretched apart. “That’s my best bra, you bad man” Aimi cried snatching the item from his hand. “ooooh” Benny couldn’t do anything as the blonde forced his legs wide apart beyond his natural flexibility. “Well since you wanted it, I’d better put it on for you” she says holding the bra with both hands. “Arggh stop it please”. Powerless to resist, with his groin ligaments screaming out their tortured protest, Benny watched as Aimi lent forward and pressed a bra cup over his nose and mouth. “Mmpph”. The blonde wrapped the rest of the bra around his head then clasped it behind. “Oh! You look so cute” she squealed clapping her hands as her legs threatened to rip his short legs off.
Benny felt his legs lowered to the ground then released. Before he could move, Aimi pushes him off the table to slide to his knees. Legs spun over his head and he had a bird’s eye view up her short kimono gown as the blonde turned herself over on the dressing table to lie on her front. He saw her shapely backside ahead then felt her legs swallow his head. “You like my bum don’t you Benny? Well take a good look”. “Mmoww!” Benny couldn’t help but cry out as he finds himself looking at the back of a pair of long strong but very feminine legs as they exerted a shocking pressure to his skull. He saw her tight clenching buttocks, they reminded him of a sexy pair of bowling balls and they looked just as hard. “Mmmoooow!”. To either side his vision was blocked by her hamstrings bulging with power, his hands confirmed that they really were as hard as they looked beneath that lovely soft female skin. He gasps with pain; he was in no doubt these were real muscles and strong ones at that. “Mmpplease”. His hands moved around, feeling her bulging thighs and tendons as they exerted a frightening crush that he was sure was going to break his skull.
It wasn’t one continual pressure. Aimi kept squeezing then relaxing then squeezing over and over. It felt like his head was caught in a fleshy battering ram. “Moooow ooww ooww please”. Benny experienced real fear as he felt the blonde’s big hamstrings smashing against his cheeks and jaws threatening to bust them. “Mmmm no more please”. “Who’s the dumb bimbo now? You sexist pig” Aimi tells Benny as she watches his reflection in the makeup mirror.
It occurs to Eddy that Benny’s head looked small between Aimi’s bulging legs, the bra cup on his face looking like a comical beak. “mmplease no more”. Eddy steps forward stiffly to help but stops when she says “Oh Eddy, are you coming for some more Judo?”” No, no” he says quickly. “Chorus line Karate?”. “No, no”. “Then you must want to feel my leg breaker again?”. “No, please no” he says terrified. “Then sit down!”. Eddy is shocked at the strength of her commanding voice and obeys. He watched in awe as the lovely blonde brutally squeezed Benny for several more minutes. His partner was kneeling before this young woman who could inflict so much pain with her sexy long legs, unable to do anything but scream loudly into the bra cup attached to his face while holding onto her legs. The screams turned to sobs and finally Aimi relaxed her savage grip.
“So Benny are you prepared to listen to my demands? Or do want to stay between my lovely legs looking at my bum at bit longer” she emphasises this with a hard squeeze. “Hmmmplease stop please” he sobbed pathetically. “I get equal airtime” squeeze “mmyes yes” he cried. “And a solo spot every week” squeeze “myes yes”. Aimi opens her legs and Benny collapses to the carpet red faced, in tears and clutching his head. She bends down and removes the bra gag. “Remember boys if you go back on your word then next time I won’t be so gentle. Now get out before I play with you some more. I have to change”. Hurridly Eddy helped his weeping partner to his feet and they both staggered stiffly out of the door.
******* Transcript of sketch 113 – final shoot ******
As Full Dress Rehearsal up to double flip.
Benny & Eddy (get slowly to their feet, groaning and holding their backs in mock pain). Aimi is facing stage front with her back to them.
Benny: (approaching Aimi and coming around to her front) “Will you pack that in!”
Aimi: (looking blank) “What?”
Benny: “Stop flipping us”
Aimi: (chirpily) “OK!”
Benny: “So you won’t say that word and flip me?”
Benny: (relieved) “Good”
Aimi: (grabbing Benny’s lapels) “Judo!”
Aimi puts her foot in Benny’s stomach, falls backwards, and straightens her leg throwing Benny high over her. He collides with Eddy. They both fall to the stage floor with Benny on top of Eddy as if unconscious. <Canned laughter>
Aimi walks to the pile of men, turns stage front and puts her foot on Benny’s back.
Aimi: (raises and bends her arms in victory) “I like Judo!” <Canned laughter>
Director: “and cut”
Benny and Eddy get up slowly, hands rubbing their backs and moving stiffly.
Director: “Aimi. Get ready for your solo spot in ten”
****** Department of Telecommunications and Electronic Broadcasting Order of Censorship attached to transcripts****
Transmission of Eddy & Benny sketch 113 is banned under The UK Public Decency Act of 1935. Said sketch illustrated several lurid acts of an indecent nature depicting the physical abilities of a woman in contrary to the laws of nature and common decency. In addition, said woman was also depicted in a stance alien to her sex with the camera lingering on unnatural features of her physique. Such subversive material is a subject highly inappropriate for the Government’s broadcasting channel and will be struck forthwith. All copies of the offensive scene will be seized by The Vice Squad and destroyed. The writer of the script will be summarily dismissed and refused re-employment with any offices of Her Majesties Government.
*****MoD attachment to transcripts***
Of no interest to Gabriel.
A large meeting room deep in the bowels of an ancient building. A small group of men and women are seated around a large antique conference table. Around the walls of the room and blocking the room’s door stand 6 men and 4 women, eyes alert, bodies poised for action. Everyone in the room is aware of another presence; black robed and cowled standing in the shadows. An overweight middle-aged man in an ill fitting expensive suit is standing briefing the blue-rinsed hooked nose woman who sat at the head of the table. “We have good reason to believe that the Americans are planning a series of covert operations on British soil”. The atmosphere in the room grew chilly as all eyes turn nervously to their ageing leader. “Again? Well we must show them some friendly-fire of our own” her voice is controlled, low but hard as nails. “The PM may kiss The President’s arse but I will not stand for it!” she says, her voice rising sharply to a shriek.
“It seems that it’s not just you who try to do things against our wishes” a strong feminine voice tells them from the shadows. The people in the room look uncomfortable, even their leader and the members of the Elite Death Squad lining the room. The woman continued, “We have told the Pentagon of our disapproval. Be assured that if they go ahead with this then those responsible will be made an example of”. There is a brief period of silence as the listeners absorb this information. “You knew of this? Of course you did. What are they after this time? Stonehenge’s power source ?, Winnie The Poo’s jar of honey?” The Evil One sneers with contempt.
“They intend to take Project Gabriel. You will not let them. Your predecessors should have burned that cursed place off the face of the planet years ago” the shrouded woman replies. “I’ve never heard of it”. “I wish none of us had ever heard of it”