The Lollipop Lady (JIMP#17)

Are you tough enough to handle the stick skills of a Lollipop lady?. One tough guy is left out cold, another cries over his busted balls

SPOILER: Dr.Helen Lewis helps Jim study an ancient Amazon statue and is later
confronted by Scott and Ted Hawkins. She is rescued by the fearsomestick fighting skills of mature Lollipop lady Margaret. A brutal  battle leaves Ted battered and out cold, and Scott sobbing over his bust balls.

I loved the idea of a lollipop lady using her stick as a sort of kendo stick. Based upon such a lady who I believe is Kurt’s aunt and quite formidable looking in a sort of sexy way. Helen is based on Timeteam’s Helen Geak and yes I really did see the schoolgirl on the motorbike

The following story contains descriptions of sex and violence. If this offends you or if you are under the legal age of consent in your country do not read on. Any likeness to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental.
(c) JIM P 2010
“Look to Anahita” that was what the letter said [JIMP#15]. However Sir Humphrey was adamant that the statue that I had discovered at Bristlingdown manor [JIMP#13] represented the Hindu goddess Durga. We had been at loggerheads for months, I was certain this was a clue from factions within the mysterious Amazon sisterhood although I could not fathom out why they had revealed it.

It was Professor Dupont who decided to end the debate by bringing in a colleague from Cambridge specialising in ancient Indian studies. Dr. Helen Lewis was a slim-built woman in her early 30’s with a pleasant freckled face, rosy cheeks and shoulder length brown hair with a fringe. “How wonderful!” she exclaimed at the sight of the ebony figure taking pride of place in the newly built strong room. “The resemblance to Durga is striking”. Sir Humphrey gave me a wink. Annoyed, I turned towards the statue. The undoubtedly female figure stood upon a three-stepped plinth in front of a large vertical ring around which were placed stylised flames pointing outwards at regular intervals. “The Ring of Fire! How odd. This is usually associated with Shiva” Helen said noticing my gaze. “You didn’t mention she was naked. How bizarre” she continued. There was no doubting the figure’s sex with the anatomical detail on display. The enormous thrusting breasts that would topple any real woman were a dead give away.

Unlike a real woman, she had 8 arms, 4 either side of her body arrayed in different positions holding various weapons. I could make out:
1. A bow and arrow
2. An axe
3. A sword
4. A trident like spear
5. A club
6. A disc or small shield

“The arms illustrates her multiple abilities as goddess of life & death, love and justice. She was supposedly stronger than every other deity” Helen lectured us. “I only see symbols of war” I said. Helen bit her lip frowning. The remaining arms ended in:
7. A closed fist
8. An open palm

I touched these in turn. “Skilled at unarmed combat too. Deadly woman” I said. “Um I’ve never seen that before. I would have expected a flower or some other symbol of life” Helen remarked leaning close. “And the big muscles?” I asked. “What?” said Sir Humphrey. “The musculature is distinct and highly unusual. The idealised woman was depicted with a large bosom indicating fertility and a full figure indicating wealthy eating”. That was putting it mildly, the artist had given the goddess thick arms with large clearly defined muscles, strong forearms and in several cases big bulging biceps. This contrasted strikingly with the huge pointy breasts and tiny waist. I noted that the sculptor had even inscribed what appeared to be abdominals on her stomach. “The artist had a good understanding of human anatomy” I said. Helen gave a nod still frowning “Incredible workmanship” she murmured.

The legs were similarly muscled. One was raised in a traditional Hindu dance pose with her thigh outwards, knee bent and a muscled calve pointing down with a slight inwards angle. “Four legs!” Helen gasped, “Hindu deities only have two”. “Could it be Anahita?” I asked. She shook her head. “The Persian goddess? Unlikely, they didn’t make images of their deities until around the 5th century BC and even then they had the normal complement of limbs” Helen replied. “I told you Jim, it’s clearly Hindu” Sir Humphrey said. “No, not Hindu” Helen pondered, “There is commonality behind the two races. They both originated from the Aryan communities near present day Iran” Helen told us.

“Look to Anahita” I murmured. Maybe the clue was more literal. I asked John, one of Sir Humphrey’s bodyguards, to help me lay the heavy statue carefully on its side. “What are you doing man?” Sir Humphrey cried. The underside of the base was plain apart from a central group of small indented white dots in groups of 3, 9, 7 and 5. “A maker’s mark perhaps?” Sir Humphrey asked. “None like I’ve seen” Helen replied. “I think it’s a key” I exclaimed. Everyone looked at me as if I were mad. I explained, “Professor Dupont said the diary of Lord Gerald Symthe-Jones is written in an Avestan Language”. “The Indo-Iranian connection again” Helen put in. “Yet some sections seemed to be gibberish”. The professor nodded. “I bet they are encrypted with this sequence as the key” I said. “Even if that were true, that still doesn’t tell me how to decode it” the professor replied. “There must have been a code book or a portable decoder which Lord Gerald carried around” I answered. “What would such a thing look like?” Sir Humphrey asked. “I’ve no idea, an ancient looking mechanical object. I would guess it would be circular with dials where you select the symbol to be encoded or decoded and somewhere to read off the result. Oh, and knobs or levers to input the key that altered the encoding”. “Don’t recall ever seeing anything like that” Sir Humphrey replied. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“Phroar!” Scott exclaimed as a motorbike slowed down and stopped as the Lollipop lady stepped into the road to stop the traffic to allow children to cross. Behind the helmeted leather clad rider, rode a helmeted schoolgirl. She wore the local uniform of a light blue blazer over a white blouse with a blue-black diagonally striped tie with a pleated blue tartan skirt and short white socks. Most of the girls like the bike rider wore light tan coloured tights. “Oh my god look at that! Look at that! Oh that is incredible” Scott was practically drooling as he leered and pointed at the girl. Ted Hawkins could see why, the girl’s short skirt flowed like a fan from the tops of her full thighs showing them off as they pointed along the sides of the bike with her calves bent back towards her footrest. They were thick meaty strong looking thighs with curvy hamstrings and thick calves. Even Ted stood mesmerised admiring the legs on show until Scott’s voice intruded. “Orrr I want some of that!”. “Pack it in Scott. You’re drawing attention to us” he hissed moving in front of him to block his view.

For the last quarter of an hour they had been waiting by a University staff car park, the top of which fronted a road. It was far from ideal but they had been following the Doctor for several days studying her daily patterns and this was the best of a bad bunch. At 8am there were just the occasional children using the alley beside the car park as a shortcut to the nearby junction. Ted was confident they could grab her and force her down the steps to the service room below an adjacent building before anyone was the wiser. “Ohhhhhhh” Scott moaned. Bike girl had driven off but the older girls were driving him to distraction with their skirts so short that he was surprised they weren’t expelled. A few minutes ago, one had dropped something and her miniscule skirt failed to cover her backside as she bent to pick it up. Ted had to physically restrain Scott from giving a helping hand in a manner the girl wouldn’t have appreciated. Ted noticed the latest object of Scott’s lust, a particularly buxom girl whose developing bust heaved under her blouse like two large ferrets fighting in a sack. “Oh god I’ll give that a good seeing to” he moaned. “Pack it in Scott. I’d thought you’d have learnt your lesson from the last time you perved after little girls” [JIMP#5] Ted scolded. “She’s at least 16 maybe 18. She’s legal” Scott replied watching the girl bounce past. “You’re old enough to be her father. Now pack it in because here comes the good Doctor, punctual as ever”.

They watched as Dr.Lewis parked then got out. “Phroar nice arse. Nice legs too” Scott murmured. Helen was wearing a green T-shirt with grey shorts and trainers. “I have to agree. If you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll let you give her a bone” Ted said as they walked towards the Doctor as she retrieved her briefcase and various books from the boot. Closing the rear hatch door then locking it with her key fob, Helen turned and bumped into Hawkins. “Oops. I’m so sorry” she apologised. Glancing at the tall hulking man with his brutish scarred face, Helen blanched and looked away. An obnoxious man with a large freckled face wearing glasses fixed up with plasters around the hinges leered at her. Helen had a gentle passive nature but had an overwhelming urge to smash her fist hard in the middle of his face. “Excuse me gentlemen but my students are expecting me” She said trying to keep calm. Ted answered “Not for another hour Doctor Lewis. There’s no need for alarm, we just want you to take a little stroll with us”. “Yeah then I’m gonna give you one” leered the odious one. “That’s enough Scott” snapped the thug “Doctor I promise that you won’t get hurt as long as you tell us all about Bristlingdown”. “Please leave me alone. Somebody please help upph”. Ted cupped his large hand over the Doctor’s mouth “There’s no-one here to help you Dr.Lewis. Tell us what we need to know and you’ll be on your way”. “Maybe it’s in here” Scott snatched Helen’s briefcase out of her hand, causing the books she was holding to fall to the ground. Scott brought his face so close to Helen’s; she could feel his foul breath on her skin. “I bet you go like the clappers NNNNNNNNNGH”.

Ted frowned at Scott who had dropped the briefcase and was standing with his mouth moving silently and his eyes screwed up. “What’re you playing at?” he said. Then he noticed Scott’s hands at his groin trying to push down on the end of a rubber tipped pole. “What the?”. “Leave her alone” a low slightly gravelly female voice commanded from behind the distraught man.

It was then Ted saw the Lollipop lady. She was tall, possibly 6’2″ and medium built. Her shoulder length sandy hair was curled and swept back from her brow and over her ears. On top of her head perched a white cap with a black brim and a light green band around the base with a central black area with her badge of authority. Eyes of hazel framed by thick natural eyebrows stared hard at him atop a long slender nose and average mouth and dimpled chin. Ted thought that she was probably in her late 50’s but had a good complexion with no wrinkles or signs of sagging. She wasn’t bad looking probably what you’d called handsome.

“Release her or I’ll mash your friend’s balls to paste”. She emphasised this by tapping the lollipop pole twice hard against Scott’s groin, giving a glimpse of the wide alternating bands of yellow and black, before it rested between Scott’s legs. “Owww please no” Scott cried in anguish, his face bright red with tears rolling down his cheek as his hands pushed ineffectually against the pole stuck in his groin. With his hands still clasped around Helen’s mouth, Ted moved slightly to his right to better appraise this unexpected heroine. The woman wore the traditional fluorescent yellow coat with deep pockets and two horizontal silver reflective bands. The coat was open, revealing a white blouse covering quite large low-slung breasts. Below this she wore a black knee length skirt with tan coloured nylons covering her shins and black low-heeled shoes.

“Go ahead. Do you think I really care? Now shove off and mind your own business. We’re having a private conversation” Ted said as Scott frantically shook his head. However Ted hadn’t reckoned on Helen drawing inspiration from her saviour. Channelling her fear, Helen slapped her hands on Ted’s broad shoulders and drove her knee hard into his groin. “Ugghnnn” The effect was devastating, Ted’s eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open in a look of pained surprise. Helen felt excitement and strange sensations of pleasure as she watched the hulking brute crumple before her. So much so that she had to do it once for more good measure. Ted felt his shoulders pushed up and looked in surprise at the fierce determination and excitement blazing in the Doctor’s eyes. That look was so strong that he actually flinched before he felt her knee ram so hard into his bruised balls that he felt his feet leave the ground “Unnngh”. There was a loud groan of boyish voices mixed with childish cheers. Through bleary eyes, Ted saw a small crowd of children watching from the alleyway.

“Beautifully done dear. Are you okay?” the Lollipop lady asked. “Yes. Thank you” Helen replied, quickly scooping up her briefcase with one suspicious eye on Ted who knelt in agony cupping his groin groaning quietly. “My books!”. “Don’t worry dear, I’ll deal with it. Now go and phone the Police”. “I’m Margaret by the way” she added.

Scott felt relief as the pole was withdrawn. He slumped to the ground caressing his aching balls moaning. Looking at the ground as his breathing eased he saw a pair of shoes enter his view. He followed the shoes up long shins then upwards to see the Lollipop lady standing over him with her legs astride like some modern day colossus. The lollipop pointed down at him as though she was some ancient goddess giving commandments from upon high. The brightly painted circle of fluorescent yellow with a fluorescent red border left after-images as it waved in front of his eyes. ‘STOP’ it said in large bold black letters underlined thickly, I’d wish somebody would stop her, Scott thought. The lower half of the lollipop showed a shadow girl as if walking across a road leading a small boy by the hand, I bet her skirt isn’t halfway up her arse he thought sourly. “While you’re down there pick up the lady’s books you pig” Margaret the Lollipop lady demanded in an authoritive voice. “Can’t be arsed. Leave me alone” he whined nursing his throbbing balls. The pole twirled in the air above his head and came down hard on his lower back. “Oww!”. Scott fell forwards onto his hands and knees. He reached to soothe his back, dimly aware that the woman had walked around to his rear. The pole slammed between his legs from behind causing a new wave of pain to explode in his abused groin. “ARGGNNNNhhhh!”. More groans of sympathy from the boys. “Be quick about it pig-face or I will ram this where the Sun doesn’t shine” she ordered. Despite the intense throbbing pain in his nuts, the sting on his back and shamefaced with the jeers of the watching children, Scott forced himself to gather together the books. “Bitch!” he mumbled under his breath. “What was that?” his overseer demanded as she strolled to his side. Scott yelped in fright as the pole flicked threateningly towards his groin, causing him to almost drop the books. “Put them on top of her car, pig-man” she instructed. Scott got to his feet, his eyes flickering nervously to the pole in her hands and did as he was told.

As Scott turned back to his tormentor he nearly jumped with fright. She stood side-on to him with her feet apart and knees slightly bent. The lollipop pole was held with both hands across her waist with the blunt rubber tipped end towards him. She stood confident in a fight stance a picture of power and strength that made his groin twitch for reasons he couldn’t understand. Behind her he saw Ted wink and slowly get to his feet. Still wincing at the ache in his balls, Scott knew that he had to keep the woman distracted. “Where did you learn to do that?” he asked. “The Salvation Army. It’s very handy for dealing with inconsiderate motorists and piggy scum like you” she replied.

Maybe it was the look on Scott’s face, maybe a reflection in his glasses or maybe she heard a soft footstep behind but in one swift movement Margaret had driven the end of the pole deep into Scott’s gut then turned spinning it then hammering the same end into Ted’s mouth. Fluidly the pole is lowered then propelled into the centre of his chest, his gut and groin all in one quick motion. Before Ted had time to react he found the bright yellow circle slammed against his face like she was swatting a fly.

Bent double trying to regain his breath, Scott looks up at the cheers to see that the crowd of children had grown considerably bigger.  He looks away and is horrified to see Ted getting trashed. Knowing he has to do something and trying to ignore the new pain in his gut, he rushes the woman from behind while her attention is on Ted who is bent double with his hands to his face. Turning her face towards him, Margaret calmly plants the blunt end of the pole on the ground and leans forwards. In the blink of an eye Scott saw her skirt and coat falling back as she raised a long shapely leg bent at the knee and fired her foot back so powerfully into Scott’s stomach that he is lifted off his feet and is slammed into the car behind him, setting off its alarm. “Don’t try and touch what you can’t handle little pig” she taunted. Scott slumps against the car so severely winded he thinks he’s about to black out.

Ted takes advantage of the distraction makes a grab for the pole, but Margaret snatches it away before he has got a firm grasp. Like a Bushido warrior, the woman in the bright yellow coat and cap swings her staff around in a low arc and upwards to strike Ted’s solar plexus. Scott wets himself as he sees the agony on Ted’s face, his mouth gasping as he folds at the knees and waist. He wanted to cry out a warning but he couldn’t get the air into his lungs as the statuesque lollipop lady raises the pole overhead like a gladiator and hammered it down against Ted’s nose. The children cheered loudly as the blood sprayed. “Cool this is better than Dynasty Warriors!”. Scott screamed noiselessly as the woman stepped towards him and swung the metal circle into his face. More blood, more delighted cheers.

“Get along to school now. It’s all finished here”. Damn right it is thought Scott turning bright red as he desperately gulped small amounts of air into his lungs. The car alarm still blaring its shrill cry behind him was deafening. The constriction in his chest starting to ease as he breathed raggedly, he sensed movement and looked up. Oh god no!. The demon lollipop lady was standing before him with a strange look of excitement in her eye, licking her lips as if she were about to devour him and her nipples standing large and erect under her blouse. “shshh shh” he wants to beg her to stop but he still can’t inflate his lungs enough to speak. He tries to move sideways along the car to get away, but she comes close, raises a long leg and plants a foot on his right collarbone. Breathing more rapidly but shallowly, Scott couldn’t avoid looking along the sexy shapely calve pinning him against the car, along the magnificent expanse of inner thigh to her crotch. Despite his situation, he felt himself going hard. She smiled letting his eyes adore her for several moments before saying “Going somewhere little pig?”. In desperation Scott swings his left hand towards that erotic vertex between her legs. Ooooohh sounds of disapproval as Margaret steps back with a look of horror at the violation, her hands clasping the front of her skirt. “Copped a good feel there didn’t I?” he gasps with a satisfied smile. Snatching the pole from her whilst she stood in shock, Scott starts to swing the circular end like a ping pong paddle. Children gasped, some of the younger ones started to cry as the sign batters their Lollipop lady around the head and body. Wiping the blood from his nose and controlling his breathing, Ted watched in amazement as the wimpish man drove back the tall woman with her own lollipop.

Scott’s revenge died as a blow towards her head was caught by her hands. They struggled against each other trying to gain control of the weapon. Margaret made several attempts to ram the pole into Scott’s bruised gut but he held on tight and resisted the movement. Suddenly Ted grabbed the woman’s upper arms from behind enabling Scott to free the pole. With an evil grin on his face, Scott swung the metal circle edge on between Margaret’s legs. There was a collective intake of breath from the observers and a restrained squeal from Margaret. Even Ted was shocked as he tried to keep the woman from bending. Laughing in short rasps Scott reversed the pole and start batting her around the face. “For F sake Scott just punch her lights out then we can go before the cops arrive” Ted shouted. The lollipop swatted her face again causing a nosebleed in addition to a bloodied lip and cut brow. “Here grab hold of her and let me”. Ted tried to pass the wriggling woman to Scott but she slipped out of Scott’s grip. Ted tried to catch her but she ducked low, scooped up the pole and spun to face them. “You prick Scott. Now she’s armed again” Ted hissed carefully watching the bruised and bloodied woman with the pole poised for combat.

Ted was a professional, he had pulverised men much bigger than this prancing lady and her stick. “I’ll draw her attention and you grab her from behind. Pin her arms, don’t let her use that stick” he hissed to Scott. Slowly Ted circled the woman who just turned her head to follow him. As soon as he’d got to a point where she couldn’t watch Scott and him at the same time, he lunged. The pole spun and shot towards his face, but Ted was anticipating this and raises both his arms trapping the advancing stick. Quickly shifting his arms down, he grabs hold of the pole with both hands and pulls. “It’s no use. Give it up lady. I’m stronger than you and you know it”. He can feel her grip starting to slip. Suddenly Scott grabs her upper arms from behind, the pole being snatched by Ted and flung to the ground. Ted steps forward and raises his large fist. “Say goodnight sweetheart”. Twisting from side to side in Scott’s arms, Ted is about to deliver the knock out punch when he gets an eyeful of sexy strong thigh as she raises it against her body bent at the knee then blasts her foot into his face. There is a loud cheer as more blood sprays into the air.

Scott is horrified to find himself on his own holding a wildcat as she bucked and struggled to break his grip. He feels her bump her backside into his crotch then press into it as she bends sharply and he goes flying head over heels.

Ted is fuming, he charges at Margaret as she throws Scott. Sensing his approach, she deftly drops to one knee and stretches out the other leg to her side. For a second Ted is baffled until he sees the pole swing around low towards the sides of his calves. He feels his feet swiped out from under him and falls on his side against the tarmac. The tall woman rises from her crouch and drives the pole behind her like a punter on the river, catching Scott, who is just rising, in the groin to the accompaniment of groans and cheers as he falls to his knees.

Hawkins has hardly gained his feed when he is bombarded with a barrage of blows to the sides of his head, shoulders, arms and chest in a blur of day-glo yellow and black before striking him between his legs. Loud groans from the boys. As he sinks slowly towards his knees, he sees the blur of the pole once more as it hammers into the side of his neck. Scott watches in horror as Ted crumples loosely to the ground.

“I called the Police ages ago where are they?” Scott hears Helen’s voice. “This is Cambridgeshire not London, they’ll probably be here in half an hour or so if they can be bothered” answers Margaret. “Please stand back, I need to teach this pig not to hit women between the legs”. Terrified Scott turns to run, but a double-handed sweep lift his legs forward high out from under him and he lands heavily on his back. There’s a cry of pain as his back slams into the hard tarmac, glasses skittering off underneath a car. A shadow moves across him. Scott looks up to be confronted with a view all the way up beneath the woman’s skirt. Despite the pain and the fear, he is turned on by the sight of her pantyhose covered crotch atop her glorious leggy pillars. A hand stretches towards the stiffening bulge in his trousers. “We’ll have none of that here, you filthy pervert!”. Repulsed at the grotesque man looking up her skirt with a growing erection, Margaret spins the lollipop pole and hammers it into his balls. There is a strange high-pitched scream from Scott’s lips, his face a red mask of excruciating agony. The groan from the watching boys is genuine as their groins throb in sympathy.

With his torso rocking back and forth, Scott desperately tries to push away the pole crushing his balls. A solid looking calve appears close to his face as the ball busting Lollipop lady plants her foot on his neck pushing his head to the tarmac. Looking into his eyes she says, “You deserved that, you odious creep”. With the jeering of the children in his ears and tears streaming down his face, Scott feels completely humiliated by this fearsome woman as she stands over him asserting her dominance. Margaret looks like a victorious warrior in her cap and bright yellow coat standing supreme over her fallen opponent, her weapon of destruction upright and violating his masculinity, her foot upon his neck. “That’s what you get for messing with a woman” she says.

Some of the boys are shifting uncomfortably at the sight of all this display of female power and supremacy. Some are repulsed and embarrassed that two grown men, one of them a huge tough looking bloke, have been so easily destroyed and humbled by a mature Lollipop lady. Others feel their faces burning as they feel a strange attraction towards this magnificent goddess of road crossing safety; some of the older boys are awkwardly holding bags in front of their trousers looking shamefaced. A few are casting nervous glances as girls talk aloud about trying that out on the boys at playtime with some poles from the gym.

Ted can hear sirens in the distance, no doubt stuck in the rush hour traffic in the ancient city. He is tough, he has to be in his line of work and quite capable of taking blows that would fell most other men but he has never had a fight like this. He needs to take out this bitch quick and get himself & Scott out of here. Ted focuses on working himself up, forcing himself to remember the public humiliation this woman, probably a mere housewife, had inflicted on him in front of a group of children. He wants to be angry, knowing that the adrenalin will temporarily blot out the pain. Psyched up, Ted approaches cautiously from behind. As he nears, he sees her strong calves as she poses with one foot on Scott. Ted is surprised to find that his groin is twitching.

A chance reflection in a car windscreen and Margaret turns and crouches ready for combat. The striped pole spins in a blur and lashes towards the man’s chest, but Ted is ready and blocks it again. Gaining a firm grip he pulls the stick. Man and woman struggle for supremacy. Suddenly the tall woman twists her arms trapping Ted’s own against each other and the pole. Stepping smoothly around forces Ted to follow awkwardly. Margaret lifts her arms, Ted wincing as his trapped arms are forced up, and then swings them in an arc. Ted is thrown head over heels to land heavily on his back on the ground. Ted looks up to see the woman in the bright yellow coat standing over him about to drive the end of the pole into his face when Scott tackles her from behind.

“Well done Scott” he says getting to his feet as Scott struggles to hold the much taller woman. Margaret tries to free her arms but Scott is hanging on like a terrier. “Let’s get this over with then we’re out of here”. Seeing Ted raise his fist and unable to use the pole, Margaret pistons her foot back against Scott’s knee. “Arrgh” Scott screams releasing the woman. Ted swings but his target moves, his fist scoring a glancing blow across the top of her head. “Don’t mess with the Big Boys love. You’ll only get hurt” Ted sneers as she stumbles away clutching her head. “Just keep still and it will be all over with in a flash” he says as he follows her. Margaret keeps backing away trying to put some distance between her the approaching danger. He laughs as she backs into a car but his laughter dies as he sees her running towards him. “What the F?”. Using the Lollipop stick like a pole jumper, the tall woman vaults into the air. Ted gets a fleeting view of her crotch and long legs hanging in air, one bent at the knee the other rising towards him before a foot pounds into his face. The children go wild at the spray of blood as Ted falls, out cold even before he hits the ground.

Scott wets himself again as the she-devil in yellow turns to face him. “Time for you to learn never to grab a woman, little pig”. “No no please I’m sorry please he made me do it” Scott is sobbing. Holding the pole horizontally in front of her, Scott sees the woman lunge towards him. Instinctively he grabs the pole with both hands to stop her slamming it against his chest, only realising too late that this is what she wanted. Trapping his hands with her own, he sees the woman fall backwards away from him forcing him to lean forward. Scott feels her foot slam into in his balls as she pulls him down towards her. Just as he thinks he is about to fall on top, her leg straightens & he feels himself hurled several feet away with a push of her powerful leg against his bruised and battered groin. Wow! Awesome! This is better than Ninja Warrior 4! I want to be a lollipop lady when I grow up and kick ass!

Pain lances up Scott’s back as he lands heavily on his back, the jolt forcing him to expel air in a rush. He balls really hurt badly, his back hurts, he wants to go home. Then he hears the Police sirens getting louder and sees the woman approach. “Sounds like your ride’s nearly here little pig”. Panicking Scott scrambles to feet and makes run for it towards the crowd of onlookers. Without his glasses Scott just makes out a blurred image of a schoolgirl moving to block his escape, her intentions clearly signalled as she makes as if to kick a football. Scott is running too fast to avoid her, he tries to swerve but he’s too close. Running man’s groin and girl’s swinging foot collide with a resounding thud and Scott crumples to ground screaming in agony.

Sobbing uncontrollable with the intense stabbing pain and from the shame of being brought down by a schoolgirl, he feels someone forcing his arms behind his back then hooking them over something hard. “Stand up little pig”. The Lollipop lady!. Scott is shocked to find that he can’t free his arms even though they are not restrained. “Up I said”. Scott feels hands grip his chin and a knee in the pit of his back. Weeping openly, Scott is in no mood to argue. With the jeers and applause of the brats burning in his ears. Scott is marched over to a car close to the prone figure of Ted Hawkins, just as the Police cars arrive. Scott cries with relief that the torment will soon be over.
I had been with the Professor examining Lord Gerald’s diary, when we heard the shocking news about the attack on Doctor Lewis.
We met up with her the following day and although she was a still a little shaken, she assured us that she was all right. It was disturbing to find out we were in some way responsible for the incident because we had involved her in the examination of the statue. However Helen made it clear that she in no way blamed us & that as this was an important archaeological find, we had been right to call her in.

A few weeks later, I received a call from Detective Michael Jenkins. “Bad news Jim” he told me. “We were forced to let the bastards go.
The orders came from above. The Criminal Protection Society said we didn’t have enough to hold them on and that their clients were attacked. After all most of the witnesses just saw a lollipop lady beat up two men”. It was disappointing but hardly surprising in this day and age. “Any idea who hired them?” I asked. “No, they wouldn’t talk. Demanded to see their big league lawyers from London who advised them not to say another word. I’ve no idea how small time thugs like those could afford those lawyers, they normally only work for the banks”.

“So we don’t know they are?” I asked. “One was Ted Hawkins, used to work as Cole’s bodyguard”. “Any relation to Arthur?”. “Younger brother”. “Interesting. Arthur was Sir Nigel’s butler then worked for someone called Sir Anthony Jones” I replied. “Didn’t get anything out of his accomplice. Spotty looking git. Kept breaking down crying about Lollipop ladies and his balls. Had to send him to hospital with a severely ruptured groin”.


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